That Girl's Blog

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Question: When you answer a ringing phone and you do not hear anyone on the line, how many times do you say "Hello?" before giving up?

I don't typically try more than three times, I would guess (I don't normally count, but it's something like that). This guy at work with the Boston accent seems to have this issue rather often, and he always keeps trying for way longer than is reasonable. "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?" So annoying. I just want to shout, "OH MY GOD, it's not going to happen! Give the fuck up already!"

Sometimes I hate computers.

I'm on vacation next week (well, M-Th anyway), I have an shitload of work to do today if I want to try to leave tomorrow with a clean plate (which I very much do), and of course my laptop is being a total asshole. It demands to update things and then breaks them and then restarts and then chokes and and then has to have things reinstalled and basically is just purposely trying to stop me from getting work done. I'm quite certain that it's sentient and is fucking with me intentionally. True story.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Do all parents/in-laws have this habit of repeating the same conversations over and over and over again? Every time the in-laws visit, The Husband faces the same series of questions from my mother-in-law multiple times during any one visit:

So you're going to be a professor once you get your PhD?
How long will it take you to get your PhD?
Will it be hard to find a job?
If they offered you a job here would you take it?
Are you sure you'll like teaching?
Do you think you can get a job in California?
Where would you prefer to get a job?
 ... and the most important one that she's always leading up to...
How much will it pay?

I think she is hoping that if she asks enough times, suddenly the answer will become, "Ten million dollars a year, and we'll be able to support you in a life of luxury and buy you a dozen vacation homes around the world!" Normally the quiz also includes some variations of, "Could you get a job somewhere like Harvard" and "Could you go into business instead", but so far this visit we haven't heard those... yet.

There are all sorts of other things — stories, questions, etc. — that they repeat ad nauseam, though I'm drawing a blank now. Just last night at dinner I had to willfully restrain my eyes from rolling when my mother-in-law made some comment I've heard 200 times before, but now I can't remember what it was.

Oh, I know one of them is, also from my mother-in-law: "I told Andrew at work that you used to say you wanted to be a perpetual student, but I thought you were kidding!"

It just occurred to me that she's probably told poor Andrew-at-work that little joke about 500 times.

Appies? Really?

Shortening words to "____ies" is not cute. "Lippies" for lipstick, "appies" for appetizers — no. Not good at all.