That Girl's Blog

Contractor; face; stab.

Seriously, the work on the house that began in JANUARY is not done yet. You might think we're adding on an additional fucking house or transforming it into a mansion something, but no, not at all. The biggest thing was the attic remodel and that has been done for months. It's all the smaller shit that this goddamn general contractor has dragged out for months and months and months. We're down to the last dregs of work, and it is amazing how long he can drag this crap out. I cannot count high enough to estimate how many times I've heard, "Everything will be done by the end of the week." Apparently he is under the impression that "week" is a synonym for "decade".

What I don't understand is why. Doesn't he want to get it over with? Wouldn't he like to put an end to the steady stream of phone calls and emails and demands to hurry the hell up and, lately, threats? Doesn't he want to get paid? (He's gotten paid a lot already, as the work has slooooowly progressed, but there's a still a healthy chunk of change left to go. Doesn't he want it?) I just don't understand him. There is not much left to do — we're probably talking two days of work if they just got down to it. Just get someone out, get it done, get paid, and get us out of your life!

It doesn't help that problems continuously crop up with the work that has been done. One of the bathroom light switches stopped working (new wiring). The caulk in the corners of the (new) showers has developed cracks. The coat closet door won't stay on its track. And so on. Every time they fix something, some other issue rears its ugly head, to be added on to the list along with the work that hasn't been done in the first place.

I deeply resent my in-laws for taking the lowest bid and sticking us with this. Everyone always recommends not to take the lowest bid, especially when it's a lot lower, which he was. The thing is, the in-laws do know this. When we were getting the estimates (what feels like a thousand years ago), they repeatedly said that they would throw out the lowest bid. Then they got all the estimates and that went straight out the window. Of course, the cost has skyrocketed well above the original estimate, not to mention what we've paid in time and hassle.

We've been living rather like hobos within our own house for nearly four months now (we didn't move in until August) and it fucking sucks.

The in-laws will be here in about 11 days, and what I think I will do is take them, the general contractor, and all of his useless sub-contractors and throw them all in the Hudson River together.

Growing (hair and nails) (maybe)

Hair

The Husband and I are both really lax about getting haircuts. Often we're just too damn poor, and always we're too damn lazy and just don't really like it. We never go until we look completely unkempt and ridiculous.

Well, last time I waited so long that I started thinking maybe I should just grow it out. I've had it short for about 10 years now, starting with a cut based on Jenna Elfman's Dharma & Greg cut and moving on to ultra-pixie-short from there, barring only when I grew it out for the wedding, so, I don't know, maybe it's time for a change. And it might help keep me just a teensy bit warmer in the winter. So, when we finally broke down and went to the "salon" (Fantastic Sam's) a few weeks ago, I just had the guy clean it up a little bit.

The only thing is, I kind of hate my hair when it's longer... it's wavy in a very annoying way and has cowlicks and does strange, annoying things. It's just barely down to the bottom my ears now, and the only way I can control it is to straighten it every day with a straightener (this one). I like the results, but it's a pain in the ass. We'll see if I can stick this out without getting frustrated and just chopping it all off again. Or if, once it's grown out a bit, I revert to old habits and just put it in a ponytail every single day. (Which was why I initially cut it short; it seemed pointless.)

I look in the mirror now and think, "Wow, my hair's getting long," which is funny because it seems most or many girls would still consider this ultra-short.

Nails

I'm also maybe possibly trying to grow my nails a little. I'm one of those gross people who always has their fingers in their mouth and has very short, ugly nails. I don't really bite my nails as such, but I pick and gnaw my cuticles, and I run my teeth under my nails... as if to clean them, I guess. And if there are rough spots or hangnails, I end up biting or pulling those, which never ends well.

I've tried to break the habit before and always failed miserably, so I'm trying not to make this a big I'm Qutting thing, so as not to put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm just trying to take care of my cuticles so that hopefully they'll become smooth and pretty and therefore less tempting (nothing to pull at), and keep clear polish on my nails as something of a deterrent. (Actually, it's a strengthener, because my nails have always been thin and crappy and severely prone to breakage when they do grow at all. Which tends to be a problem, but we'll just take it one step at a time.) I will switch to colored polish if they get long enough that it doesn't look completely retarded. I also have some of that stuff that you paint on and tastes really foul, but I'm trying to do it without that because that shit is really fucking foul.

So far I've kept my fingers pretty successfully out of my mouth since the beginning of the week. The growth is negligible so far, but I can see the difference.

Now if only I could figure out a way to grow a couple of inches in height!

Penises: Always funny.

The Husband emailed me this article months ago, and it is still one of my favorite news stories ever. I wish someone had done this at my high school graduation. Hilarious!

 

Things that bother me.

There are many things that bother me; The Husband would say it's because I'm wound a little tightly. Today, we'll talk about badges and doorbells.

I sit at a reception-style desk at the entry to one of our company's suites in the building. I am in front of a giant window that looks out into the hallway, and the door itself also has a large window. Anyone coming in, or wanting to come in, can see me quite clearly and easily.

Our suite is badge-protected, so anyone who does not have a badge must have the door opened for them by yours truly. There is a doorbell to the right of the door, but most people, given the clear view they have of me, simply give me a little wave, and I buzz them in. If I'm looking down or away and do not appear to notice them, they knock gently, and I buzz them in.

If I am not at my desk, they ring the doorbell. (Theoretically, then, someone else will come to the door and let them in. It doesn't always work that way, but that's another blog post.) The doorbell is very loud, and cannot be turned down, and if I am at my desk, it rings about a foot away from my ear, so I find it incredibly annoying when someone rings the doorbell when I am sitting right here. Furthermore, once they have done it once and heard for themselves how loud it is, I consider it inexcusable to ever do it again (when I'm sitting at my desk).  (Occasionally a small group of people may be in front of my desk, blocking the view between the door and myself, in which case I will forgive the use of the doorbell.)

Now, also of note is that the badge reader on this door is a little wonky, and sometimes it takes a few swipes to get the green light. If someone is having trouble with it, I will buzz them in, but because my opener-thingy is a rather stupid piece of crap that requires multiple button-pushes and pauses to open the door, it is generally faster — and certainly preferable from my point of view — if people at least give it three swipes or so before giving up.

There is one employee here who drives me crazy with that damn doorbell. He regularly forgets his badge, and when he does have it, he refuses to swipe it more than once. If he does not have his badge, or it does not cooperate on the very first swipe, he immediately and very swiftly rings the doorbell, before I have a chance to notice him, let alone get the door open (see above re: stupid opener-thingy). I HATE THIS GUY. At first, I hid my annoyance, hoping he would notice how loud and unnecessary it was and figure out on his own to just knock or wave. Eventually, I lessened my efforts at hiding my disgust, hoping he would pick up on the mild frown on my face and figure it out that way. (Passive-aggressive, I know. What can I say, I'm a chicken and dislike even minor confrontations with co-workers.) No dice.

Why must he do this? Does he have an obsessive-compulsive need to ring doorbells? Does he hate me and find it amusing? Is he stupid?

Today, I finally gave up and said, "You don't have to ring the doorbell; you can just knock. It's very loud." He just sort of looked at me blankly and said, "Oh" — with the air of someone who really doesn't understand what has just been said — and walked on.

So I suspect he will continue to ring that damn doorbell, because the answer is probably C) he is stupid.

Adventagoes asshat!

The Husband, as a TA, gets to read some very interesting exams and papers. I get to share in the fun of making fun of them. Good times all around!

Our latest favorite is the student who not only can't spell (including such misspellings as "opposets", "nessissary", and my new favorite word, "adventagoes" — that's advantageous, in case you couldn't tell), but also actually used the word "asshat". That's right, in an essay answer that was part of an exam in a 300-level college course, he thought that "Socrates' asshat sophist opponent" would be an appropriate turn of phrase.

It's no surprise, of course, that stupidity surrounds us. After all, how else to explain that even though Obama is (probably probably probably don't jinx it) going to win today, McCain/Palin (Palin!) is still going to get nearly half of the popular vote. When nearly half of the country's population is retarded, you have to expect that you're going to get some highly amusing/depressing college papers, right?

(I apologize if I just called anyone retarded. But, well, there can't really be any other excuse for voting for a ticket that includes Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin!)